I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
