i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
