Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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