are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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