I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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