Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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