How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
