I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
