we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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