Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
