I got chris browned last night
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
