my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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