there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize