So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
