Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
