I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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