Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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