Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
