I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
