By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
