Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize