So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
