i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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