I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize