Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
