shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
