Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
