Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
