I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize