She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
