I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
