At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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