Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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