it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Pooping to opera.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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