WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
