It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
