i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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