thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
