is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
