I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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