Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize