Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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