We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
