I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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