I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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