So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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