im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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