Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
