I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
