I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
