last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
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remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
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It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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