can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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