and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award