weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.