Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.