i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Where is the hickey?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
