i already hear my dad disowning me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
