How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
