I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
