She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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