so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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