If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Randomize
