and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
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Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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